2012 was a real asshole, and I am full of nothing but optimism and motivation for this coming year. I think that I could make this year great, because after all, only you can make things great for yourself.
How I feel today, on January 2, 2013. I feel great. I feel more like myself than I have in ages. On my personal blog, that is ultra private, my inner most feelings and thoughts... I haven't written in there in months and months. Honestly, that blog was an outlet for all of the sadness, loneliness etc, that were all so new to me. All of the hard times fell heavily on me. I would get bouts where I felt like I was starting to feel better and like myself, but deep down I knew it was only temporary. Today though, it has been so wonderfully consistent, and I can honestly say that I have gotten so fucking much better. I feel great, I feel strong, I feel like me, and that is spectacular.
I have been at my job for almost a year now. I made 2 B's and an A this semester, and my shit GPA that has been following me since 2008 is now almost a 3.5. I feel so fucking proud of myself and have even more motivation that I can do whatever I please. I didn't even try that hard this semester at all, and I know that if I actually apply myself, great things can come.
I thought that I would share my "resolutions". I mean, really, you should strive to achieve your goals, and be a better person, etc everyday, but something about the new year really gives you that extra push, maybe.
So, on to my resolutions and such.
- To be healthier. My real goal is to lose 40 pounds. But, when it all comes down to it, we have to be real. My main, real, better goal is just to be healthier. No more fast food and junk, and snacks, etc. I love great foods. I have to start cooking more and eating the right portions. It will be splendid.
- To start (more importantly) AND FINISH a project. I have this bad habit of having these ideas and spurts of inspiration and motivation, and I let the world get the best of me. I haven't finished a project in I don't even fucking know how long. I tried to start a 365 and we see how that turned out. I am thinking of actually starting a series. Finally doing my bedroom series. Start to carry my camera around everywhere and get some real inspiration. I hope to take a photo class next semester too, so I know that having to complete assignments will be difficult and absolutely thrilling.
- Be better at work. I quickly have gotten into this bad habit where I am late almost everyday, or everyday really. Working for such a lenient boss has put me in this rut where I don't feel the need to wake up early and get to work on time. My resolution is to wake up early (possibly even start running WHAT), making time to get myself ready and possibly make a healthy breakfast, and getting to work on time without having to rush. I know that having this time in the morning will make me feel so much better, and motivated to work, more importantly as I have gotten in the slump where I sit on Tumblr and chat all day instead of doing what I need to do. This is the most important goal here.
I haven't written in a while. Christmas was great. I spent so much time with my Aunt who is one of my favorite people on this planet. She graduated college and I cannot be more proud.
That is a picture of us at this light exhibit at a nature arboretum It was magical and I love having that extra time with her. It was a huge trail and we got to go inside and look at all of the animals and bones.
I took a hell of a lot more pictures, but I haven't had time to mess with them.
Christmas was great. It was all with Tori's family, and it was our third Christmas together. Crazy! It's such a strange and delightful feeling to finally feel accepted in her family. Mainly her mom.
Her mom got me a bunch of cute knick knacks and a lunchbox (perfect for one of my goals), and we set up Christmas gifts from Santa for the kids. Her dad and Penny got me a sewing machine! And all of the tools and a gift card! It was so sweet, and I'm so incredibly grateful. I can't wait to start making things!
As this was Tori's idea for me, she is going to take me shopping, which is SO GREAT. I need clothes so bad. I can't wait. I got her an xbox, and it has been awesome.
My sister got married on Saturday. It was beautiful and I cried a lot. It's a wonderful feeling seeing your sister so happy, and knowing that she married someone who loves her unconditionally.
I only have this instagram picture currently as the photographer hasn't sent her the pictures yet. But, isn't she beautiful?!
Since all of the holidays, I have watched all of season 2 of Walking Dead, drank wine, ate copious amounts of food, went to a wedding, and played a lot of N64. Back to reality, 2013.
/until next time.