the importance of music

It's unbelievable sometimes how much music affects your life. I mean, obviously music is made to please you, to give you something easy to listen to, to make you want to dance, to make you feel something. But, the weight of it sometimes in overwhelming.

At the end of October my long-term girlfriend and I split up.

That next week I found out my aunt had cancer. My aunt who has always been like a mom to me.

Three weeks later, and she passed away. 

It's fucking insane how in one month, your whole life can change in just about every way.

My girlfriend, our cute house, her dog, that life is gone.

My aunt, she's gone.

Everything is changing and I'm left to build this new life.

It's this insane transition and it has definitely had it's downs, but it also has its ups. It's like the fucking strings of time have wrapped themselves around like FUCKING WAKE UP AND DO SOMETHING MORE WITH YOUR LIFE.

So, that's what I'm doing. I'm doing something for me for fucking once. I'm doing this for my aunt because the final words I heard her say were that she wanted to make sure I was taken care of. It was the first time she cried, and we always meant to so much to each other. Always will. I will make sure that I'm taken care of.

The point of this post - Throughout every transition I have been through so far in my life, it's almost like the music has taken a more important role. Like a soundtrack, and when I hear the music of my  past endeavors the nostalgia is almost too much to bare, and I am rushed back to those moments, and I feel it all.

When I moved out of my parents house the moment I turned 18. I got this cute apartment and my best friend told me to buy Objects of my Affection by Peter Bjorn & John. I played that album as long as it could go while decorating and building this new home, becoming an adult, this fucking freedom that I had never felt, that first taste of it. It was summer and I had all of my friends and I was dating and I was figuring out my sexuality. That album forever feels like the beginning of the rest of my life.

And now.

The album that has serenaded and guided me through this transition is Cupid Deluxe by Blood Orange. I have always obsessed over his older music, and the tracks he writes and produces for other artists. Basically anything he touches is gold. His new album dropped around the same time that my life as I knew it changed. And I can't fucking ever put into words. All his songs. The lyrics. The jazzy 80's pop sound. It's too much. I take hot baths and put on his songs and it's like everything that is complete shit doesn't exist for a second, and honestly, things don't feel like complete shit anymore when I return back to reality. It's absolutely perfect. Even my two best friends, when I try and explain it to them, how this album has aided me throughout all of these changes, they listen to it and they tell me, I can see why. 

I must have this on vinyl.

I must have the new King Krule on vinyl.

I must have Tender Opposites by TOPS on vinyl.

This is an important list.

Listen to your music guys. Really, really listen.